i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
this boner is exhausting
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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