one two three fourrrrnication!
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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