My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
should my penis look like a turkey
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
