It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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