Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize