Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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