Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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