To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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