Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize