Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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