This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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