I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
