Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize