Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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