my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
