I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
