we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
His hands were made for my vagina.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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