Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize