I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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