apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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