how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
