He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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