yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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