Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
