turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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