Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I love having hate sex.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
