How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
