So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
