we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
