I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just high enough for therapy.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
