did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
