just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I faked an abortion last night.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
