College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize