omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
