He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
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