Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
