why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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