Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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