They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
