sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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