You really coming over, don't trick.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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