We won't sleep together?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Is it penis luge time yet?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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