So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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