Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
