hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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