i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
