Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
