you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
