Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
