he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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