Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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