yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
