god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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