You made me cry and you don't even care
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
