He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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