no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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