i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
