Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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