dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I think im going to throw up on grandma
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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