I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
