Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
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