i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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